


Baby's First Familiar

by Lamia of the Dark (VisceraNight)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Crack, F/M, Family, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-18
Updated: 2014-12-18
Packaged: 2018-03-02 00:46:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 269
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2793644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VisceraNight/pseuds/Lamia%20of%20the%20Dark
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Crack. Voldemort argues with his three year old daughter about the name of the child's pet. A sequel (of sorts) to Anticipation of Birth, but can stand on its own.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Baby's First Familiar

~ Baby's First Familiar ~

The Dark Lord slammed his fist on the table and snapped, "For the last time, I am telling you that you need to choose a new name for your pet. You are  _not_  calling it that!"

His three year old daughter was not intimidated, however. She glared at him and made an exaggerated frowny-face.

"He's my snake and I'm naming him what  _I_  want to name him," the child argued.

"That name is ridiculous, and no snake in this house is being called such a thing."

The little girl pouted even more dramatically at this pronouncement.

"Daddy, you're mean," she whined. "You named all your pets a bunch of dumb names. And Noodle likes his name!"

As if to illustrate the point, the small albino python - which was the child's pet - slithered into a pile of red building blocks and said to his mistress,  _"Look, now_   _I'm_   _spaghetti!"_

Voldemort ground his teeth together in frustration. It appeared that he would need backup if he wanted to win this fight.

He turned to the child's mother and demanded, "You agree with me, right?"

Bellatrix, who had not understood a word of the argument since it had been conducted entirely in Parseltongue, merely glanced at her daughter and offered a mild rebuke.

"Do what your father says."

Had she known what the subject of their argument was, Bellatrix would likely have sided with the child. However, it seemed that they were always arguing about  _something,_  and as the current argument resumed, Bellatrix simply tuned out the ensuing cacophony of hissing noises and continued to eat her dinner.

~end~

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Voldemort, Bellatrix, Delphini, and the Twins](https://archiveofourown.org/works/10826232) by [SilverShortyyy](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverShortyyy/pseuds/SilverShortyyy)




End file.
